SILENCE! Silence of the Lambs: The Musical – by Jon & Al Kaplan: Racist, but funny. I’m sorry.
Why Can’t Chinese Women Drive?
It’s 10 past 8 and I’m gonna be late; Holy Moley
Why is the person in front of me driving so slowly
He’s veering back and forth in his lane; what the hell is he doin’?
Is he talkin’ on a cell phone or distracted by the gum that he’s chewin?
So I pull up beside and I honk on my horn
And I freak when I look at the driver
‘Cause the guy at the wheel is a she not a he
And those eyes – my god this woman’s from China!
Tell me why can’t Chinese women drive?
I’m surprised I’m still alive
If you want to survive the ride
You better open your eyes!
There are certain things in this world that just don’t go together
There’s Israelis and Arabs
And hard liquor and beer
And there’s picnics and terrible weather
But there’s two more things that just don’t mix
They outweigh the others by far…
It’s not blacks and whites nor dogs and cats
It’s a Chinese woman and the wheel of a car!
Maybe I’m a racist with a crooked view
Not every bearded big-nose guy’s a frikkin’ Jew
And not all blacks play basketball
And not all Asian men are small
But why’s it every time I’m nearly killed behind the wheel
Oh God I’m asking you please!
That the person responsible don’t have a clue
Is a woman and Chinese?
Driving down the freeway is a dangerous task
Especially in LA
Lots of people lots of cars that go too fast
It’s a game that only lunatics play
I can deal with detours, traffic jams
And changing lanes is a breeze
But driving in this town is like Russian Roulette
Except the bullets are Chinese!