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Sent by Jamie (no surprise there...)

1 If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
2 I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
3 If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
4 How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
5 I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
6 You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
7 My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
8 Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go f**k.
9 Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
10 If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
11 You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
12 Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
13 Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?
14 I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
15 How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.