Any idiot can drive fast in a straight line

Friday, March 26, 2004

Why am I cooler than you? Thanks for asking! Well, do you have the Knight Rider theme song as your ringtone? Nope, didn't think so.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Dream Update: The dream from last night concerned me entering some sort of car show. The show was held in a building similar to Cobo Hall where the North American International Auto Show is held. The first part of the dream is quite fuzzy, but it involved Jeff, Russ and I driving quite a long distance from home to the show, trailering my show car. The car was a fairly sedate blue; brighter than Ford Racing blue but not as bright as Subaru World Rally blue. I have no idea what type of car it was, though my mind told me it was an Acura RSX. I'm not even sure what sort of car show it was, but I knew that I had to perform something. Possibly just drive it around for show, possibly drag race it, possibly drift it, who knows!

After we got to the show, there was quite a bit of time before I had to drive, so we walked around. As we walked around, I realized that I had forgotten the keys to the show car! Since it was trailered there, I didn't need the keys. Oddly enough, I found out that I was carrying one of my old keys from the Michigan Daily and it worked as a master key for the entire showroom building. Again, oddly enough, all of the mens bathrooms were closed so all of the womens bathrooms became co-ed.

While Jeff, Russ and I were walking back down to the parking garage so that we could go get the keys to the show car, we ran into a group of about six people. We were in a small hallway at a bend, so it was a tight fit to get all 9 people through. The groups sort of collided, then the six people swarmed us. My first thought was to check our wallets. They didn't actually steal our wallets, but Jeff had lost all of his IDs and all of his money except for singles. Just at the end of the altercation, I some how stole back all of Jeff's IDs and a huge stack of money. I checked my wallet at this point, and it actually had more money in it than before! At first, I was pleased, then I checked the bills. A 300 hundred dollar bill? Another bill that had multiple denominations on it (I remember one that had "$300", "$133" and "$16" all on the same bill)? Another bill that had some sort of religious message on the back instead of a visual scene? This was where I woke up.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Ok, ok, I know that WAPCE is not a terribly common acronym, but since when did DTB become common!? Christ.

WAPCE: Women Are Pure Concentrated Evil
DTB: Dump The Bitch

I am absolutely amazed by this review of Dawn of the Dead. Not because it is a bad review, not because it is a funny review, not because the review is dramatically wrong but because this is a review for parents. This is one of the most gore-filled movies I have ever seen, lots of swearing, some nudity and sexual situations and all of the other great things that give movies an R rating. There is even a handy table listing issues such as "Profanity", "Nudity/Sex" and even "Diversity Issues." You would figure that the review would be horribly opposed to anyone young seeing this and especially not making this family affair. Au contrair, the review is suprisingly positive without a lick of conservative America "hide your children from this filth" opinion. The review even gives discussion topics if this movie is seen as a family! "Families who watch this movie might wish to discuss the different approaches taken by the survivors and the range of choices that they make. Are there times when the moral answer is at odds with the instinct to survive? How would you handle this variance?" I am amazed, and quite proud, of this site.

Monday, March 22, 2004

I knew the addiction wasn't going to get any better when I would think back to those lovely days when I owned a video game console. All those levels beat, all those new trophies acquired, all those end-bosses defeated... I needed a console, and fast! I ended up using my $101 store credit at GameStop to buy a refurbished PS2 with network adapter and another copy of Gran Turismo 3. I still had my saved game from when Joe and I co-owned a PS2, so I fired that up.

Last night, I ended up beating all of the rally levels. I used the same car for all of the levels: a heavily modified Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VII GSR, putting out about 542 HP. There are 10 tracks on the rally circuit, 3 races per track and 2, 3 and 5 laps per race. That means 300 rally laps to complete the entire circuit. My car couldn't handle as well as most of the rally cars on gravel, but the sheer power got it through those tracks without fault. On tarmac, the car could handle at least as well as the rally cars and I still had a huge power advantage. The prize for getting all first places on the 30 different races is the Suzuki Escudo Pikes Peak Version. You'd think a Suzuki would be a horrible prize car, but mine is currently modified to put down 1881 HP! Top speed is currently 278.9 MPH, nice.